My Experience with the Dating Game

The Emotional Rollercoaster


by A SISTER IN CHRIST

I learned the hard way! — Dating brings only temptation, guilt and sorrow!

My parents knew nothing of protecting their children by teaching them at home or of godly courtship, so I don’t hold anything against them. There just wasn’t much said back then about courtship except in very conservative circles, I guess.

Anyway, I grew up in an atmosphere where all the young teenagers talked about girlfriends and boyfriends, and I’m sad to say that my early teenage diaries were filled with words about the boys I admired, the things they said to me, and the dreams I had of dating. I loved the attention the guys gave me, and I was boy crazy. Nobody told me how important it was to guard my heart and mind and focus my attention on serving the Lord until the time came for me to "release my emotions" in a godly way towards the one man who was to be my husband someday.

I got into trouble just by being a "friend" to several guys who needed a friend. I always felt it was the Christian thing to do to be nice to everyone and to help the "underdog." Little did I realize how quickly a "friendship" could turn into a romance, especially on the part of the one who really needed a friend. This can happen too easily just in casual conversation at church or when families get together. (In my case, it was the boy who lived several houses down.) Because of my experience, I think it’s best to never engage in extended conversations with anyone of the opposite sex, and especially never alone.

As I grew older I began to date, and how I regret it now! Because I was dating for fun and popularity, I didn’t always date guys that I would even consider for a mate. I never meant to "fall in love" or become attached to any one. I was just being a "friend" and having a "good time." But one guy I went steady with really fell for me, and I became really emotionally involved with him also, to my hurt. My life became an emotional roller coaster, and I was constantly filled with anxiety and guilt. Finally, I realized I had to break up with this guy because I really didn’t want to marry him. Although we were so emotionally involved with each other, I always said I only loved him "in the Lord." The devil just used this to destroy me emotionally. Years after I finally broke up, scars were still there - emotional scars - and anxieties. How I praise the Lord for His complete forgiveness, but I would not desire anyone to follow the path I took.

What a blessing it must be for every young lady who is in surrender to God and her parents to devote her "best years" to the Lord, and then, according to God’s will and in His timing, and with her parent’s counsel and involvement, begin a pure and godly courtship with a godly young man! "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." - ll. Timothy 2:22

Dating will cause:
B.F.S. (Bad Focusing Syndrome)

WARNING!! : The side effects from playing the dating game are serious! The mind will become blurry and unfocused on Christ. Much desire for the things that should be the most important in your life (for example: pleasing God and parents, and focusing on learning to become a godly wife and mother) are apt to fade out, leaving your mind focused on the things that should be the least important at the moment: Boys! Results: broken hearts, strained relationships, and deep scars...

Young Women Stepping Heavenward
PO Box 1992, Van Alstyne, Texas 75495