Chaste Dating

Reflections on premarital relationships


by JOHN ARON TRANDEM

I could be wrong, but I think it's always been this way, as with everything. The 90's have just washed away the shame that once existed. So rather than discussing it in whispers, let's just come right out and say it: The divorce rate is at an astonishing level and there is one particular problem facing married couples that could be avoided.

Dating is not an exercise in sexual exploration. This concept is quite universal and applies to young and old alike. Dating is something we all do prior to marriage. You go out, spend all your time together, meet one another's families, and so on.

The point at which a relationship takes a turn for the worse is when you spend less time exploring the most personal and private region's of your partner's mind and more time exploring the most personal and private regions of their body. The relationship then becomes contingent upon your sexual compatibility, and the importance of your true personal identity takes a back seat.

Couples need to focus not on the ability to fulfill one another's intimate desires, but on the ability to meet one another's spiritual, emotional and provisional needs. A marriage can survive only upon this foundation: 100 percent honesty, 100 percent commitment, and 100 percent faith in God. If these three things can be identified in one another, love will provide everything else necessary to lead a long and truly fulfilling life together.

Copyright 1999 The Forum, Fargo, North Dakota.